10 Signs Of Good Manners

There is nothing which is heavier upon the balance than the good character. [1]

We see Muslims who pray their prayers, give in charity and fast Ramadan, but their character is not what they are meant to carry.

Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) highlighted one of the key purposes of him coming to the world:

I have been sent to perfect good character. [2]

Yusuf Ibn Asbat (may Allah be pleased with him) listed 10 signs [3] to know if you have good manners. Aspire to be one who has these traits:

1. Little arguing

Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said:

I guarantee a house on the outskirts of Paradise for those who abandons arguments even if he is right. [4]

2. Listening well

3. Avoiding searching for shortcomings

Beware of suspicion, for it is the worst of false tales and don’t look for the other’s faults… [5]

4. Covering mistakes

Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him):

…Allah will make things easy for him on the Day of Resurrection; he who covers up (the faults and sins) of a Muslim, Allah will cover up (his faults and sins) in this world and in the Hereafter… [6]

5. Finding excuse

Umar Ibn al-Khattab (may Allah be pleased with him):

Do not think badly of a word uttered by your brother, when you can find a good interpretation for it. [7]

6. Patience when annoyed

Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him):

…Whoever tries to be patient, Allah will give him patience, and no one is given a better or vaster gift than patience. [8]

7. Blaming one’s own self

8. Seeing one’s own faults rather than other people’s faults

9. Having a beaming face with the young and the old

Those who do not show mercy to our young ones and do not realize the right of our elders are not from us. [9]

10. Saying kind words to those who are below and above one (with regards to religious knowledge, righteousness, social status, and so forth)

Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) used to supplicate for protection from bad manners and deeds:

اللهم إني أعوذ بك من منكرات الأخلاق، والأعمال، والأهواء‏

Allahumma inni a’udhu bika min munkaratil-akhlaqi, wal-a’mali, wal- ahwa’i

O Allah! I seek refuge in You from undesirable manners, deeds, and aspirations. [10]

References

[1] Sahih Muslim

[2] Al-Muwaṭṭa 1614

[3] Al-Ihyaa, vol.3, p.77

[4] Sunan Abu Dawood 4800. Sahih

[5] Sahîh Al Bukhari, Vol. 8 Number 717

[6] Sahih Muslim

[7] Majmoo‘ Fataawa Ibn Baaz, 26/365

[8] Al-Muwatta – Hadith 58.2.7

[9] Sunan Abu Dawood

[10] At-Tirmidhi