Adeel Malik
The Beauty of Children and the Hardship of Mothers
Children are the pleasure of their parents’ eyes. They enrich parents’ souls and minds to decorate their lives. Children are also trials of life to test parents’ patience and courage as Allāh mentions in the Noble Qur’ān,
“And know that your properties and your children are but a trial and that Allah has with Him a great reward.” [1]
Before having my little sunny boy, I never imagined how much hard work was involved in taking good care of him. The power of motherhood is amazing, and like with any power comes responsibility, which makes an adult to be more mature and dependable. Having a child fills our lives with hope and makes living meaningful and purposeful that brings with it all types of the joy and tears. If you are already a parent, you most definitely won’t ever forget the very moment of sheer joy and ecstasy when you saw your little one crying into the world with his/hers first seconds out of the womb. Nurturing children is also the sweetest load in life. Not only does it mean that you need to prepare yourself to be responsible, you also need to be ready to take on much hard work physically and psychologically while raising your little loved ones. Specifically, mothers are the ones who have to go through the most struggles for their children. These struggles start with the hardship of pregnancy, labour, feeding, weaning and fostering children with love and care. Fittingly, Alḥamdulilāh, the Noble Qur’ān indeed recognizes the pivotal role of parents by asking the children to respect and obey their parents, specifically underlining the importance of being kind to the mother. Islām has elevated the status of a mother in order to make us know she deserves more love and respect from her children. Our Prophet Muḥammad (sall Allāhu ʿalayhi wa sallam) is reported to have said:
Our Prophet (sall Allāhu ʿalayhi wa sallam) is reported to have said:
“Your Heaven lies under the feet of your mother” [2]
Before I Can Talk, I Can Only Cry
Everyone knows that before children can talk, they can only cry. Younger children may cry when they are hungry, may become fussy when they are sick, may become upset when their father and mother are busy with their work, and may need more attention when they need affection. The only way they can truly express themselves is to cry. Babies cry to communicate with their parents since they have no other possible communicative skills besides crying. Even though every parent loves their kids, it is not so straightforward to understand why the baby is crying at times. And this can be frustrating for parents. They can only guess their child’s state of mind through experiences and understanding their own children with time.
How Can Parents Read Their Children’s’ Minds?
It depends on how close parents are with their children to know what their babies desire. Spending time with your loved ones is crucial in getting to know them even when they cannot talk. Through daily observation of what and how your children play, one can discover so many interesting and distinguishing characteristics. As I mentioned earlier, having a child is not an easy job. It is not a coincidence, that the process which describes the hard work of women who deliver their babies is called “labour” and not “picnic”. Additionally, raising children costs much energy, patience and kindness. I admit there are thousands of times that I lost my temper and tolerance when my little man would get cranky and started crying for no apparent reason. Still, deep inside my heart I knew there was always a reason for him to cry. Subsequently, the more time I spent taking care of my child, the closer I became to him and day by day I started to understand my kid’s needs more than anyone else. It is a natural bond that brings parents and kids so close that no one else can replace them. This is why parents and kids love one another in the deepest and most abiding way. It is hard work taking care of a child, but when you see your little one smile at you and kiss you while saying “I love you mommy and daddy,” you know right there that everything has paid off. This is a priceless reward that you cannot get with all the money and wealth of this world.
Always be Positive with Your Child
Communication and observation are essential in comprehending the struggles our children might face and problems they might experience. Being open-minded parents provides us various opportunities to ease our children’s growth. More importantly, parents need to pay more attention to their own behaviour and speech since kids are like copycats that imitate any behaviour they will encounter. This is an ingrained learning skill in children, but this skill may also lead them to misbehave since they replica whatever they see and hear. When you see children misbehave, you have to correct them immediately. They have to learn and get the right message as soon as they commit mistakes. Always talk to them with firmness and certainty so they will not think that you are just jesting. Encouraging and praise is also indispensable while educating our children. They learn how they are respected by others, at the same time; they would show respect to others. All this education is an investment for parents in their children in order for it to become the bedrock upon which their future virtues to be built upon. Thus our Prophet Muḥammad (sall Allāhu ʿalayhi wa sallam) is reported to have said:
“The best gift from a father to his child is education and upbringing.” [3]
Islām and Children
To err is human. That is why we as Muslims need to have the eagerness to constantly learn and seek knowledge in order to increase our faith. One of the useful solutions for parents who have trouble taking care of kids is to talk to someone who has more experience and who is willing to share their experiences. Discussions with more experienced parents can help us be better parents.
Children are as clear as an empty piece of paper. If the child lives with strictness; he/she learns to be timid. If he/she lives with respect; he/she learns to be confident. If he/she lives with humanity, he/she finds love and friendship everywhere. Allāh mentions in the Noble Qur’ān:
And those who say, “Our Lord, Grant us wives and offspring who shall be a comfort to our eyes (because they are righteous), and make us a leader (meaning, a leader by example of righteousness)”. [4]
This implies that parents are responsible for children’s behaviour. How parents behave daily will influence how their children lead their lives. Taming righteous children not only relies on giving a good lecture at the right time, it is also important to apply Islām, the natural way, while raising them up. That is why seeking knowledge in Islām is an endless life journey.
Teach children simplicity so they will learn how to value life. Show them the beauty of Allāh’s creation. Expose them to nature, to see, to hear, to smell, to touch, to feel the wonder around them. Your kids will simply be content with some unknown fragrance spread by the wind in a small park. Provide them with fun leaning materials to learn about Islām. There are plenty of fun and productive Islāmic online sources from where your children can surely learn the beauty of Islām. Islām does not only teach people what “not to do”, but also what is permissible. We are highly recommended to make sure our kids enjoy being Muslims, to have “Halal” fun, to explore and to discover the beauty of the religion. We have to instil Islāmic values on a daily basis so that they can grow up with an Islāmic way of thinking forevermore.
Featured Image: Hannes A. Schwetz | Flickr Creative Commons
References:
[1] Al-Qur’ān: Surah Al Anfal 8:28
[2] Sunan An-Nasa’i, Book of Jihad, 3104
[3] At-Tirmidhi on the authority of Sa’id Ibn Al-‘as
[4] Al-Qur’ān: Surah Al-Furqān 25:74
